Long before cameras were invented, not to mention smartphones, the idea of selfies was not really thought about. It seems like a silly thought since selfies and smartphones are synonymous. We may forget, though, that selfies are stored only if a phone has memory. Now think about the lens of the camera and think about memory/ies. You will agree that the human mind remembering things is greater than a little bit of memory of a smartphone. You will agree that you have a special lens, nay two lenses, with which to capture memories. You have memories of your past. You have memories of your imagination like your own built-in photoshop. You were already the king/queen of selfies from a long time ago.
The best pictures are of you and those you love. Those going through tough relationships are keen to erase those memories. Consider rather whether you should rather rearrange your filing. There is love in those pictures and it is stored in your heart. Perhaps it is reasonable to park it somewhere in the what we also know as the chamber of love. Love is not something that is simple. It may be a difficult situation in which you find yourself currently, but a time comes when, in relationships, we use our mind and ease the heart. We act on that which is rational so that peace may prevail for both parties. It is not necessary to scrub the heart so hard that those beautiful memories are erased by “acid” and extreme scouring.
I have been asked a lot about trust lately. Trust is not love and neither is love trust. Love can exist without trust but trust requires at least a little bit of love. Don’t hang up yet. Hear me out. If you lose trust in someone you love, then often the question is asked “why?” (This question needs a post on its own). But if ask something of a “stranger” trusting them to at least make good on this and they don’t, then you will feel only a little let down. However, it will be brushed aside much easier than when a loved one “abuses” your trust. That is because love is what makes the breaking of trust more painful. When you divorce, or consider divorce, or have divorced, know that divorce does not have to erase love. Many will claim that there is no more love anyway – and my answer is “if you say so” (another topic, another time).
Consider the selfies you took with your own lenses which you then stored in your heart. Know those selfies are filled with love. There is a discussion to be had. There is an understanding to be reached. Whatever, the future holds (or indeed the present), if you are to part, part in a good way for those moments of love you shared, were real. Marriage is about the couple but it takes two individuals to become a couple. Divorce should not be the reason why anyone should feel less than whole – meaning that two individuals must still emerge from a broken marriage. Enjoy the selfies you took over the years for life is a series of memories – at least hold onto the good one’s – therein is love.
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as always – consider yourself, consider your future – help is at hand:
itsmylife@jazilah.co.za or +27 84 291 8167
www.itsmylifecoach.co.za
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Picture courtesy: https://www.123rf.com/
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