“He is a confident young man”, they say. You can take three examples of this confidence and they will be different. The one person will border on arrogance, the one will show it in his stubbornness to succeed and the one will show it in acting with wisdom and insight. But it is the first example that is often glowingly used as an example and the most relatable to this label. Yet, confidence is a key component of our growth and progress.
A confident person is assertive. The Cambridge dictionary defines “assertive” as ” Someone who is assertive behaves confidently and is not frightened to say what they want or believe“. This is a quality that most people lack. Background plays an important role, i.e. when the child is raised in a condescending manner and is told “speak when you are spoken to” then they lose their confidence and assert themselves less. Of course, those who witness this dressing down, perhaps already lacking confidence, have not even begun to smell “assertiveness” and it is lost on them. Later on in life, when people are bogged down, their efforts to assert themselves are weak or misconstrued because they act more out of desperation than with the confidence that assertion really needs.
I must point out that assertion should not border on arrogance and disrespect. Rather, it should be with confidence and respect. To assert oneself is to be noticed without being overbearing. Everyone should be given the space to assert themselves for every life must be valued. Every voice must have a platform to learn, to inquire and to voice their honest opinion. Such an environment is an environment of truth and the basis for a culture of understanding and discussion. However, the one who says “what can we do” in a dejected voice while matters are directly impacting him, has chosen not to assert himself, but to capitulate. The two key ingredients of assertiveness are knowledge and confidence. While knowledge is acquired when you assert yourself inquisitively, you will need to be knowledgeable on
the subject matter on which you have an opinion.
Assertiveness is part of self-development. Every person has to be assertive for him/herself. Every person has to be assertive for his/her family to protect them, to assist them and to help them grow. Every person has to be assertive for his/her community to protect them, to assist them and to help them grow. The exact mannerisms in showing this assertiveness may differ (and the subject is much broader than a one page blog) from one person to the next but the objectives are the same. The most important part of it all is to never capitulate. It is always better to prepare and to develop assertiveness than to act out of desperation.
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