Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is ….

The one who has no regrets is perfect or perhaps she manages his way around her imperfection. The one who has never erred is perfect or it may be that she overlooks her own shortcomings. Generally, the shortcomings are really only in other people, isn’t it? The mirror on the wall is to agree with your perception that you are perfect when you call out to it “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the perfect one of us all?”

Your immediate reaction is that you know you are not perfect. Yet, in it all, you don’t easily acknowledge your shortcomings. This is especially true in a relationship, be it friendship or marriage. How do you acknowledge your own shortcomings? There are a few ways, and this note will by no means be exhaustive but rather just a “heads up”. It is always important to remember that the next person is but a mirror reflection of yourself. For the most part, you may either have the same faults as the next person, or similar in type or number of faults.  This is true in every relationship. You cannot be going through the other persons faults with a fine toothcomb, then raising and highlighting these. Your relationship will be doomed or will become toxic. Bear the smaller issues with patience. Then note that not every big issue for you needs to be considered a big issue. Of course, men and women are different, so you allow for some “small” things to be big, but really not everything. You were concerned and irritated by the wet towel on the bathroom floor while he was irritated by you banging his car door. Sure, a nudge in the right direction is good (how do you do this?). There is no more paper or even words for every truce that follows a minor bust up after all these skirmishes. Enough already. Acknowledge your own shortcomings by striving to fix it, however possible, and less finger wagging at others. A hug, a smile and a kiss for “just because” (while you know it is because you acknowledged something you can do better and no one – like your spouse or friend – judged you for it)

Respect requires you to accommodate the shortcomings of the other person (yes within reason). And you expect the same from the other person. And you do understand that men and women are very different? So how do you know what to do? You read this note: http://itsmylifecoach.co.za/the-right-question-for-you/

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