“The best of you is he who is best to his family” is an important statement. It answers the question why a husband, as an example, appears more polite and courteous to a stranger than to his wife. Some are nodding in agreement, some are shaking their heads in disagreement and yet others have deep frowns forming on their perfectly shaped heads. Let’s unpack what I said to give a clearer perspective.
The stranger comes with a clean slate, a blank canvas, and you will not want to unnecessarily ruin this. In fact, the other person responds likewise and the one person may see the other as an artist who exudes the beauty of their creations. Such is his demeanor as a perfect human specimen. Meanwhile back at home, the painting looks more like the scribbles of a two year old. Ever wondered where abstract art comes from. It comes from the incredibly imaginative two year old (okay, maybe three or four year old) who will describe the drawing (albeit a seemingly inexplicable drawing). It all makes sense to her. And so, in comparing your life to that drawing, it may almost be a replica of that drawing. Your eyesight is a little suspect and you may not always remember why you drew a certain line. This precipitates your reaction to your spouse because she is lost somewhere in that drawing. You shout at her because you can’t actually see her in the drawing and you feel a little cornered because you don’t, by now, understand the drawing. It was never your intention to have a drawing like this.
For the newlyweds the advice is a little easier. At least try to create the picture together so that you will be more agreeable and complimentary to each other. For the rest of us, we must revert back to the start ourselves and learn to paint. A means of erasing what was before is to find the means of reconciliation and an ideal starting point. Erasing means a combination of being apologetic for at least some of your shortcomings and also to be accepting that your spouse does naturally have shortcomings which can be accommodated and/or overlooked. It is beautiful that you see your spouse, from time to time, as a stranger you welcome into your life, the slates being clean, but the hearts on bonding keen. Be creative in making that abstract a meaningful loving and caring bond between you. And don’t you just enjoy being all loving with your dear ones and, in turn, the magic is reciprocated?
“The best of you is he who is best to his family” is an important statement. There is always a way to be the “best” even though you may appear far away from it. May your bonds be strong and may love permeate your life.
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picture courtesy: https://artclasscurator.com/
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