The age old question is whether love can die? Is love a living organism? Does the answer lie in the simple saying that your relationship ended because the love between you has died or should it have been said differently.
The views on this are plentiful. Each with its own version thereof. But love is like a virus. It needs a living organism to which it attaches so that it may itself “live”. Love can only be eradicated if you do it yourself. It is not the next person that will kill the love except that you drink from the poison to kill those cells carrying the virus and in the case of love, it is found in the heart. You will need to remember this when you end a relationship and divorce is the appropriate word when marriage is ended while both spouses are still alive. So why the hatred? Why the ill-feeling? It is because you allowed the events, the incidences and words to overwhelm you to the extent that you virtually drown your love for your spouse or ex-spouse. It need not be like that. And it need not be retaliatory behaviour. The love you had is not in the past but it is still very much there, there in your heart. Your disagreements does not mean that love should die or leave through the narrowest opening of a door slightly ajar. There are few people whose love does die, but you are unlikely of those few.
Imagining waking up one morning and telling your spouse “I don’t love you any more”. Love cannot die by itself so that cannot be true. That your love grew no bigger than a bonsai tree is likely and so it is that you cannot see it even over the little fence you erected between the two of you. But don’t say your love died. It is possible that you have a greater love for someone else, but loving multiple people is real and normal; one love does not kill another love. Hatred is a kind of poison. But hatred is born in the mind and transferred to the heart. Hatred is not the opposite to love (another blog on this, another time). So instead of saying “I don’t love you anymore”, rather acknowledge that “the love is not enough for me” because it is a bonsai sized love or that you (perhaps both) allowed “life” to get in the way of your love.
You get divorced and that brings hurt. Love can be nurtured and, with the right words, you can heal. The focus is on yourself and not your ex. That beautiful heart deserves to love and be loved. Love does not die but, for the most part, it gets swamped by the baggage of life. Let’s unpack it and bring the smile back.
Picture courtesy: https://www.lolademo-music.com/
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