Development needs pioneers to go to new frontiers and discover, invent and even be entrepreneurs. For the majority of people, it is wise to follow that which has already seen the light of day.
Considering various scenarios, one find that to progress in life, one needs advice, guidance and role models. These need not be formal or even in the spoken word, but example is always the best way of teaching and learning. Parenting is one such example of having witnessed the concept in action. This would apply to the majority of people. There may be orphans and abused children who did not have this example. Parenting will not necessarily be easy for them since they may not have any platform from which to work. It is not an insurmountable task to get to grips with parenting because they can yet seek assistance. However, where this help is not sought or forthcoming, then problems are likely to arise since every situation will be a new (never before experienced) one and to find solutions for all may not be that easy. Orphans may have a recollection of their parents to a point, if they can recall at all, and this is where their parent-child relationship ended and that is all they take into parenthood. Abused children, may well become abusive parents themselves because that is all they know or they may banish those memories. Either way, they would not have direct understanding of a good upbringing and hence have nothing good to take into their lives as parents.
Traumatic events are likely to leave scars and it is almost inevitable that such scarring will in some way or another impact families even later on. People build up defence mechanisms and lying may be one way to make everything seem better that what reality is. There are of course other ways such substance abuse, etc to get over the difficulties the person is experiencing. There are rehabilitation centres for alcohol and substance abuse. The conman may be caught and sent to prison. The liar may not have done enough to have a criminal record, but the impact, on others, from this defence mechanism can be painful.
The lessons are many and those of us who are able to assist, need to assist the orphan and the abused child for the consequences could be dire for both them and us. All these negative results stemming from the absence of parents or the lack of good parenting certainly has shaped society in some way. They need help and if any one of us come from that unfortunate background, it is for us to seek help in some way or another. Our approach to life must always be to make a positive difference. We must rise above the problems we have experienced on the one hand and we must then offer a helping hand to those who need help so that they too can rise above their problems.
Picture courtesy: https://www.health.harvard.edu
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