The oft-repeated refrain from expecting parents is that they only want a healthy baby. Your perception of reality is not reality in itself, but your understanding of reality is a key differentiator. Differentiating what? Differentiating on your actions and plans relating to this child from, at least, the time the mother goes into labour.
A healthy baby is indeed something for which to be grateful. You introduce this newborn into life as you know it and not as it ought to be. While you were longing for a healthy child, freedom and happiness are not items that you had on your wish-list. Well, you did, but did you understand or prioritise these concepts of freedom and happiness. Over the next fifteen to twenty years, you will engage in such actions to erode their freedoms and happiness. You were in that system and you survived that system and so will many others, albeit it at the expense of some part of you. However, there is no telling who will survive the system, but you will be responsible for the impact the system has on your child. The simple example is this obsession with results rather than effort. The system judges only on results and not effort. Not only is this already misplaced, but the skills are likely not enhanced because many children are like fish out of water. They are forced into a cage and sadly, when depression and suicidal tendencies appear, then it is never ideal. Of course, there may indeed be other factors. Also, perhaps it does not get as bad as depression and suicide, yet there may be some trauma that needs attention. Consider too the child who performs well but cannot attend a tertiary institution of choice because of financial constraints. A skillful person with much potential is lost because the system has placed too many obstacles in his way.
The youngster will hear that “there are no free passes in life”. A statement that lacks empathy and kills the spirit of many a youth. Collectively we have failed in providing a substantive platform. The healthy child is likely not so healthy. This youth is caged and has not the freedoms albeit only because of societal pressures. Happiness is so much dependent on freedom. Freedom and happiness are indeed relative. If you are born is a cage you may not know a world out there. You guide your child to careers that have financial rewards and discourage his passions. The subject matter is extensive, and this was merely a moment of “thinking aloud”. The truth in it is real.
Leave a real legacy. Not of wealth, although it may be welcome, but leave a legacy of a children given the freedom to excel in those fields for which they have a passion. Work with others to provide a platform that others, especially those in your immediate circle and then beyond, can pursue their passions, free from unnecessary constraints. Today is as good a day as any to bring about change. For some that change may be an iota, for others it can make an ocean of difference.
Please also read previous post http://itsmylifecoach.co.za/success-is-relative/
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