Two Key Statements

Two statements, uttered from the same tongue, are so vastly different. That one expresses a need is very likely, but the second is more of a want. The one helps cement a relationship and the other’s outcome is very much the opposite. “You are all that I need”, at the start of the relationship, versus “I need more from this relationship”, later on in the marriage. This last “need” is more of a want.

Remember how, in the early days of your marriage, you had little and were content. Striving to create something for your family and those were happy days. As time passed, influences from outside the marriage took root. Slowly, there were comparisons, albeit just mentally in a quiet moment. You had a role to play in the marriage, but you veered off script. The script where you said, “you are all that I need”. You had to build your story on that. Your spouse was still very much the same person, perhaps with an ache or pain or tiredness from putting in a shift in the early years to get the stability you have now. Perhaps the excitement has waned a little. Is this excitement what you see outside, while before the two of you were enough for each other? What role did you play in maintaining the happiness around the house or did you constantly look elsewhere for that happiness? Life starts with basic responsibilities. You have as many quirks as the next, or should I say, as your spouse. Picking on your spouse because you are bored in your relationship, already means that you can cut that boredom by actually learning to be better than pointing at your spouse, while three fingers are actually pointing back at you.

You cannot live your life being taught and guided by social media, magazines looking for sensation or the movies. There are people capable of guiding you or even just reminding you of things that you may have forgotten. Sure, some marriages fail, but if you do a little more to prevent this, then at least you will have learnt something. If your marriage does eventually fail, it is not for your lack of trying sincerely. May your marriage be strong.